It’s not over yet, but I’m learning so much with this shoot. Everything that can go wrong has gone wrong; reformatted hard drives (lost footage omg), people flaking out at the last minute, people leaving set at the last minute, working four days in a row with only three hours of sleep between each one, dealing with people on set who are combative, being a boss versus being a friend, handling high tension and stress levels, miscommunication, JEZUS MAN.
Every shoot before this, with the exception of Here She Is, has gone without so much as a bump. So going through the biggest shoot of my life and having everything crash and burn (but still plowing on because hey you have to) has taught me so much about myself, about the people I work with, about who are my true friends, and about how much I love what I do.
Because even though at times I genuinely wanted to die so that it’d all go away, I still love it. I love every struggling terrible moment of it. It’s easy to love this shit when things go right, or when it’s fun, or when you’re so prepared and organized and everything is just falling into place.
It’s harder to love something when the entire universe is making it impossible, when it seems like no one gives a shit, when you’re trying to rally people to get this thing done right and to care about the work they’re doing.
But I fucking love it.
And that ain’t eva gonna change.